Love-Pain-Love Cycle
Love is a subject that no human can master in a lifetime. The human psyche is like a pendulum that after you thought that you have already moved on, you will reach to that point where you will realize that you have to swing back. I myself experience those things. Whenever I realize that there is no way she can love me, my mind turns blank. Walking for hours and hours in a place trying to find something (or someone) that can steer me back on course. It is the point where selfishness and acceptance engage war inside by fragile heart that is already confuse whether to slowdown or speed up. Sometimes, I just found myself one morning eating a complete chocolate diet (chocolate syrup on pancakes plus hot chocolate) just to fill my body with glucose to compensate for the energy that I loss thinking what I should do next. Ironically, I sometimes found myself in the local gym releasing all my energy that I build up until my body and mind gets exhausted and stop thinking about her. Heartbreak is like an Anaconda that coils you in the chest and slowly squeezes the life out of you. The pain similar to a Myocardial Infarction (heart attack) where it feels like someone is standing on your chest. I just hope there is a medicine for heartbreak too. Something that can release all the emotions until I become a blank canvass, because only until I become one, will all the pain go away. They say there is such medicine… LOVE. Now life can’t get more ironic than this! It is a love-pain-love cycle which I am very tired of. If only I can find a way to break that cycle, but until now I haven’t so I guess this pain of mine will continue on…
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