Life Isn’t Fair…
From the start, I know that life isn’t fair. I accepted the fact that we can’t get all we want nor our plans go as smooth as we like them to be. But time and time again fate seems to play a trick on our lives. I never thought that some things which have very null possibility of happening do happen quite a lot.
I once wished that if God would give trials or punishment to those people I love, that he transfer half of them to me. I hate to see them suffering because it hurts me too, so I ask him to directly give it to me instead. But then, I realized that it is not possible. He has plans for all of us and all we need to do is understand his message.
Now, I ask myself. Is this his message? Is this what he really planned or have I stray away again? I understand the principle of “Equivalent Trade”; “The Yin Yang”; and “The Opposites”, but if what happened to her was the equivalent or the effect of the miracle that happened to me… I would rather give that miracle back. I don’t want it! I would rather be alone as long as she is happy. I would rather be the one to be hurt as long as she has that smile on her face. I wish I can do something… but the worst part is I can’t.
I know that you think I’m getting paranoid for thinking in such a way. “Does this guy think he can see God’s plan?” I know that she would think that I’m selfish. I don’t understand why but maybe I am. It’s really funny to think that I’m more affected than her for what happened! Maybe because my feelings amplify the pain and add to that, the revelation that she love someone else. Even though I have already prepared my self long ago for that revelation, it still hits me hard. I’m just human. But I wanted to thank her, for being honest and trusting me and for that I want to do something to at least ease her. I don’t know yet how… but I’m sure there is a way.
“Remember that somehow, sometime; I love you with all my heart and mind. Now and forever I will remain honest; always to you my beloved goddess…”
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